


wasteland, baby

by gaysandaliens



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Caretaking, Cooper escapes the lodge AU, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add more tags later, M/M, No clue where I'm going with this, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 12:50:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysandaliens/pseuds/gaysandaliens
Summary: Cooper makes it out of the Black Lodge. Most of Cooper, anyways.Work title and chapter titles from Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier





	1. all the fear and the fire of the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy folks. I'm not sure where I want to go with this, all I know is I watched the first two seasons of Twin Peaks and I've got ideas, so here we go.  
> Probably won't be super consistent with updates because I got a whole lotta shit happening this summer and I'll be MIA for a month for study abroad, but I'll try to keep up with this one (we all know that's not true but w/e a gal can dream)  
> Also, every chapter is gonna be named for a lyric out of Wasteland, Baby! because I feel like it's a very Coop/Harry song, also I like it so here we are.

_ “Ah, Harry, I've been feeling this way all day. You know, I proceed as usual, my mind clear and focused, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, I see her face and I hear her voice. Naturally I try to reorient myself, come back to the task at hand, but the image remains. Sometimes I actually feel dizzy.” _

_ “A man in love is supposed to feel that way.” _

_ “Well my symptoms suggest the onset of malaria, but I've never felt better in my life.” _

 

Harry looked out the window of his cabin as he took his first bracing sip of coffee, wincing slightly as it burned his mouth just a bit. The sun was peeking up over the pines, casting light over his small kitchen as he reminisced on a once lighthearted conversation with a much heavier heart.

_ That’s how a man in love is supposed to feel. _

He sighed and thought about that man, once in love, who now lay, a tired echo of himself, in Harry’s bed, sleeping in after another long night of nightmares. Harry couldn’t be more excited to have his friend his partner, his… back in the flesh after his excursion in the Black Lodge, yet Dale Cooper was not the same. His eyes had previously held a continuous spark of wonder, a flame which seemed as if it would never die, yet all that was left were dark coals, full of the fear and the pain and the exhaustion also seen in his behavior. His hair, once well-kept, remained loose, free of its normally gelled state to lay limp against his forehead. As for his voice, Harry couldn’t say. Cooper hadn’t spoken a word since whispering Harry’s name once on the forest floor outside of the Black Lodge before passing out. That had been almost a week ago. A week of Harry lodging and caring for the agent, after he and Doc Haywood decided that his need for constant care would prove to be difficult should he remain in the hotel. So, Coop took up residence in Harry’s bed, with Harry on the couch, on night watch for the visions that plagued the agent as he slept, caring for Cooper as he had once cared for Harry.

_ That’s how a man in love is supposed to feel. _

 

Harry’s introspection was interrupted by the creak of a door. He turned to see the very man invading his thoughts, standing in the doorway of the bedroom in his trademark blue pajamas. Cooper rubbed his eyes and yawned before running a hand through dark hair, squinting at Harry.

Harry gave him a soft smile. “Mornin’ Coop. In the mood for coffee?”

Cooper shuffled over to the kitchen and gave a short, sharp nod. Harry returned the nod and poured coffee into the mug he had already set out, handing it over to the other man along with a few pills prescribed by Doc. “There you go, ‘black as midnight on a moonless night’, just how you like it. Don’t forget to take your medicine, too. Doc Haywood’ll be real sore with me if you forget a dose. I’m making toast right now too, should be ready in a minute or so.”

Cooper didn’t even seem to acknowledge Harry’s words, and simply took what was offered before shuffling over to the table and taking his normal seat. He set the coffee down and spread the pills out, taking each one with a swallow of coffee. Harry stood at the counter and watched. He was like a robot. 

The timer on the toaster, however, broke Cooper’s concrete demeanor in the worst possible way. The man flinched violently at the shrill sound, spilling coffee on himself as he was washing down the last pill. Harry rushed to him as Coop began unbuttoning his pajama shirt with shaking hands, desperate to get the hot garment off. Harry reached for Cooper, but when he shrank back, the sheriff pulled away as well, Coop’s fearful gaze setting off an icy twinge in his gut. The agent continued his quest to take off the shirt, and Harry cleared his throat, remembering who he was trying to help. “Coop? Hey, Cooper, I’m gonna help you, ok? Can I help you?” He watched Coop as he trembled and struggled with the buttons, gaze flicking back and forth to Harry, who sat patiently. If he forced Cooper to let him help, he worried that he’d shut down entirely. Not the best way to start the day, though this wasn’t exactly stellar, either.

Finally, Cooper moved closer to Harry and gave another nod, and the man sprung into action, unbuttoning the rest of the shirt before gently guiding Coop to the kitchen sink to apply a damp, cool washcloth to the burns. “Ok, there, now, keep that on there, ok? I’m going to get some burn gel, I’ll be right back, it’s going to be ok, alright?” Harry coached Coop with a reassuring smile before moving quickly to the bathroom and pulling the first aid kit down from a shelf, grabbing the gel before returning to the kitchen. “Ok, got it. Is it ok if I put this on you? It’ll make you feel better, keep you from getting blisters.” Harry showed Coop the packet of gel, waiting for the cursory nod before taking the washcloth and opening the pack. He put a small dollop on his fingertips and gingerly applied the ointment to the red, angry patches on Cooper’s skin. Luckily, it had only burned some areas of his chest, ending right above the scar on his abdomen that made Harry shudder whenever he saw it. He avoided looking at it as he finished his work on Cooper, though he felt aware of that little gap in his skin, whether it was visible or not.

Once all the burned areas had been covered, Harry swiped his hands over his sweatpants to get rid of excess gel before looking up at the agent. Cooper was looking down, avoiding eye contact. Gently, Harry moved to hold his shoulder before moving to his chin, guiding his head up. Cooper’s eyes were glossy with tears, whether they were from pain, frustration, fear, or all three, Harry couldn’t say, but every option broke his heart.  _ What happened to you, Coop? Where did you go? What did they do? _

Instead of vocalizing any of the number of thoughts in his head, Harry instead ran a thumb over the man’s cheek. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright, yeah? I’m here, whenever you need me. I’m always here. I’ll always be here. You know that, right?” Harry looked into Coop’s eyes, waiting for some kind of response, yet getting none. Harry gave a small sigh and ran his hand through Cooper’s hair. “Let’s go get you a new shirt, and then we’ll wash your other one so it doesn’t get stained. How’s that sound?”

Cooper turned wordlessly and went into the bedroom. Cooper felt another twinge but pushed it down. This wasn’t about him. This was about Cooper. His recovery, his well being, his return to life, him. With a sigh, he scooped the soiled shirt off the floor and deposited it into the washing machine before moving into the bedroom, where Cooper stood, silent and uncertain, waiting.

_ This is not how a man in love is supposed to feel. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's so short, just wanted to make a little headway/give a little exposition before I get into the story too much. I should be updating soon, but please let me know what y'all think!!


	2. all the things yet to come are the things that have passed

Harry ran a hand through his curls as he looked over Lucy’s report. Pete Martell had called in early this morning about a missing canoe, so Hawk and Andy went on a valiant mission to retrieve the boat. Over the phone, Pete had been concerned that the canoe had been stolen, but there was no evidence of foul play. Hawk chalked it up to the old man forgetting to tie it up, though Pete swore up and down he had.

Harry shook his head. After Leland, after Ben Horne, after BOB and Windom Earle and Leo and Josie, after Twin Peaks had fallen to pieces with the death of Laura Palmer, this return to normalcy was jarring. These tasks that had once seemed so simple, everyday jobs of lost boats and fender-benders and teenage parties, were now different in the eyes of the Twin Peaks Sheriff's Department. It wasn’t that they were particularly difficult to deal with, the problem was that their once enjoyable work was now wholly unsatisfying. You could see it in everybody. Andy and Lucy, though still thoroughly in love with each other, had seemed to lose some of the passion that came with the persistent fear of death that had once loomed over the town (though this could also be attributed to new parental responsibilities). Hawk, ever loyal in his work, seemed to be much more introspective, spending more time on his own in his research on the White and Black Lodge and trying to compile his information for future reference, if (God forbid) it was needed in the future. As for Harry, he sat, feeling vexed that something so simple would make it into a police report. Feeling guilt that he missed those days of puzzles, of mystery, of real, true crime, of Coop.  _ Coop. _

 

He brought a hand up to his temple and had just begun to massage away the first stages of a headache when there was a knock at the door. “Yeah?”

His question was answered with Hawk entering, balancing donuts on two steaming cups of coffee. “Mornin’ sheriff. Lucy made her donut run and figured you were due for a donut and round two of coffee,” Hawk said as he moved to the desk, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He set one cup of coffee down next to the report and took the seat across from Harry.

The sheriff gave a small smile. “Thanks Hawk. ‘Preciate it.”

Hawk nodded and took a small sip, setting the donut down on the desk. The men sat in silence for a beat until-

“How is he?”

Harry sighed. “About the same. A little more trusting, I’ll give him that, but still not talking.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yep.”

“So you’re not sleeping either.”

“...Yep.”

“You know you don’t need to come in, right? Andy and I, we’ve got this covered. You can take more time off.”

Harry shook his head. “I’m too restless. Besides, it gives the Doc a good opportunity for observation when he takes over.”

Hawk nodded and took a bite of his donut. He chewed thoughtfully before he spoke again. “And how are you, sheriff?”

Harry was taken aback. He gave a little scoff. “Me? I’m… fine, I guess.”

Hawk looked at him over his mug. “You sure? This can’t be easy on you. You gotta make sure you’re alright too. Talk to me.”

There was a pause as Harry struggled to think of the best way to vocalize how he felt. “I’m… angry. I’m angry and I feel bad about that.”

“Angry?” Hawk raised an eyebrow. Clearly this wasn’t what he expected to hear.

Harry nodded and continued. “I miss him. He’s my best friend and dammit, I miss him. He’s not the same. He doesn’t do his hair, he doesn’t smile or give thumbs up or ask about the trees or whatever the hell he’s gotta know about right at that moment. His eyes are so  _ dead _ , Hawk, I feel like I can never tell if he’s looking at me, and he’s so scared all the time and it kills me! What if it’s not even him in there? What if it’s BOB, or something else from the Lodge? It’s the not knowing, the uncertainty, that’s the shit that makes me mad. I’m angry because of what happened to Coop in the Lodge, because he went in there in the first place, because he’s not  _ him  _ anymore. I miss how things used to be, even with the disaster because he was  _ here _ and he was  _ Coop  _ and Twin Peaks had something happening for once! And I feel angry and guilty  _ because _ I miss the death and the fear and the crime but it’s all because I-”

Hawk leaned over and laid a hand over Harry’s, which had been clenched into a fist. Harry stopped and looked down at his white knuckled hands in shame. Once he had started, it felt like it was impossible to stop. His face felt hot and he forced himself to relax. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Hawk shook his head. “Don’t be. This is hard on all of us, but especially you and Cooper. We don’t know what he went through, and you’re trying to help him heal an unknown wound. It’s going to feel impossible. But remember we’re here. You’re never alone in your uncertainty or fear, you should never be alone in your pain. Friends, family, we’re here to make the world a little brighter. Don’t shut yourself into the dark.” With that, the man stood. “We all love you, Harry. Let us know if you need anything.”  He stared at his sherriff a moment longer, gave a soft smile, turned and left. Harry listened as the door opened, then shut softly behind his deputy before lowering his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to stick to shorter chapters since they're easier to crank out and that means faster updates!  
> I'm going to try to get one more chapter done this week and then I'm leaving for my study abroad for about a month so updates may stop or be sporadic after the next chapter, sorry in advance folks.  
> Also biggest of shoutouts to my roommate Tory for talking through our respective fanfics with me and paying attention to me from a different state I love u very much.


	3. like the bonfire that burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry waxes poetic about caring for Cooper (at least as poetic as a small-town sheriff can).

_ Caring for Cooper is a lot like tending a fire,  _ Harry mused as he gently dragged a razor over the man’s face, leaving behind bare, soft skin.

 

_ You have to know when to stoke it…  _ as he showed Coop some of the police reports, simply because his eyes danced across the page, enjoying the stimulus now just as much as he had before he

_ changed. Altered. Broke. _

returned from the lodge. It wasn’t the Twin Peaks reports he was used to, but it was something nonetheless. Besides, Harry liked how much it mirrored old times.

 

_ … and when to dampen it.  _ Harry gently led Coop away from the bathroom mirror. This was one of many times he had found the agent staring intensely into his own eyes, as if he expected 

_ feared _

seeing someone else there. But it was always Coop looking back. Never the cold eyes and gaunt face he

_ they _

had grown to hate. And if Harry found himself staring at the mirror a little too long at night, he never mentioned it to anyone.

  
  


_ Caring for Cooper is a lot like tending a fire, _ Harry reflected as he hung his flannels that he and Cooper shared up to dry.

 

_ It can be destructive _ . He burst into the bedroom at the sounds of Cooper screaming at the top of his lungs, caught in the vice grip of 

_ a memory _

a nightmare. Harry was ready, he knew what worked, what didn’t, how to pull the agent out of the

_ Lodge _

nightmare. He moved quickly to the side of the bed where Cooper was thrashing in the sheets, but was greeted with sharp pain. Cooper had knocked over a glass again. Working through his

_ fear _

pain, Harry stepped to the other side of the bed, limping on his cut foot. He kneeled, and began speaking to the agent. Softly, slowly, gently

_ carefully _

murmuring words of encouragement, safety, before gingerly reaching out and laying a hand on Coop.

 

_ It can burn you _ . Harry woke one night in a blind panic to a pressure on his chest and hands at his throat. Shaking hands. Heavy breathing. Blue pajamas.

“C-Coop,” Harry wheezed, reaching for the hands pressing against his neck, holding them as firmly as he could as he tried to bring Cooper back

_ to life. to Twin Peaks. to him. _

from his nightmare. Cooper kept his hands where they were, but didn’t add any more pressure. His eyes were wild with lack of sleep, with fear, with

_ bloodlust _

confusion, which Harry didn’t want to aggravate. Instead he kept talking to his friend, his agent, keeping his hands on his wrists and keeping eye contact with Coop so he could see the sincerity, the honesty

_ the color _

and wake up. He did, eventually. The hands became slack, the face full of fear of Harry became a face full of fear for Harry, and Coop scrambled off the man’s body and onto the floor, curling in on himself.

Harry followed. “Coop? Coop, hey, it’s ok, alright? Look, look at me. I’m okay. I’m alright.”

Coop looked up, tears in his eyes. Harry gave him a weak smile. “Let’s get you back to bed, ok? Does that sound good?”

The next morning Cooper’s eyes lingered on the 

_ burn marks _

bruises on Harry’s neck, and when he brought his coffee mug to the sink, he reached and gently brushed the abrasions. His eyes finally moved from the injuries to Harry’s eyes, staring for a few seconds before abruptly turning and retreating into the bedroom.

_ A third degree burn to start the day. _

  
  


_ Caring for Cooper is a lot like tending a fire,  _ Harry contemplated as he added Doc Haywood’s report on the agent to his folder set aside for Cooper’s documents.

 

_ It can sputter, like it’s about to die. _ The thought was barely coherent in Harry’s mind as he dragged the agent out of the snow.

_ It’s your job to keep the fire alive. To bring it back. _

He had pulled into his driveway at the end of the day to see Coop laying unconscious 

_ dead _ . 

on the ground, just like that night almost two months ago. He threw his car into park and ripped the keys out of the ignition before stumbling out of his car and towards the blue pajamas in the snow. The agent was cold to the touch and his lips and eyelids were a frightening shade of blue.

_ Like his pajamas _ .

Harry pulled his body

_ too light too cold too light too cold too light too c _

out of the snow and carried him inside, speaking to Coop the whole time, willing him to wake up. He laid him down and made quick work of the soaked pajamas with shaking hands, stripping him down before propping him up and wrapping him in a thick blanket. By then, Cooper started to come to, shaking gently, then violently. Harry began speaking to him softly, making sure Cooper knew who he was, where he was, giving him some space and letting the agent get his bearings. But Coop leaned into touch, seeking the warmth Harry provided. The safety. When the sheriff moved away to start a fire to bring more warmth into the house, Cooper frantically clambered off the couch after him, shivering and watching intently as Harry tried to light a match with his own shaking hands. Once the fire was roaring, Harry turned to the agent, who looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. “Coop? I need you to stay here, ok? I’ll be right back. I need to make you something warm to drink, but you need to stay by the fire and get warm, ok?”

Cooper continued to stare for a beat, then sniffled and nodded. Harry nodded back and got up and moved quickly to the kitchen and made a quick cup of cocoa. He brought the mug back to the fire, where Coop still sat, watching him. When Harry handed him the mug, he took it with both hands, then lifted one hand to Harry. Gently, Harry took the hand offered, still cold but no longer shaking, and sat down with the agent. Cooper moved closer and leaned into Harry, clutching the cocoa and taking occasional sips while the fire crackled. Harry found himself remembering that ominous phrase that had tormented his department for so long.  _ Fire Walk With Me _ , that cryptic message had almost escaped his mind, but being here with the flames in front of him and Cooper at his side made the phrase come back suddenly. But this fire wasn’t a source of fear. It wasn’t a destroyer, it wasn’t meant to torment. It was a source of warmth, well-tended under Harry’s watch. And he knew how to mind a fire. Lord knows he had plenty of practice.  

  
  


_ Caring for Cooper is a lot like tending a fire _ , Harry thought as he trimmed Coop’s hair on the back porch.

 

_ It’s dangerous. It’s frightening. It’s a lot of work.  _ He stood at the counter and drank his coffee, staring out the window and waiting for Coop to wake up. It was their routine, something that brought him back to the beginning. Coffee. Dark.

_ Black. _

Every morning, without fail, even when the night before had been bad. There were Cooper’s roots. The coffee. The trees. The police reports.

_ Himself. _

 

_ But it keeps you warm. _ Harry heard the bedroom door creak open and began pouring Cooper’s cup of coffee. “Mornin’ Coop. Breakfast? Or just coffee?” He turned to give the man his coffee and found him… him. He was Agent Cooper. Not Coop. Not the man in the blue pajamas. Agent Dale Cooper stood in the doorway, dressed in a flannel shirt with simple pants.

Hair slicked back. Clean. Crisp.

Eyes clear. Focused. Looking at Harry with that same concern, admiration, 

_ adoration _

that they had held before. Harry stood and stared into those eyes, stunned and at a loss for words. Coop was back.

 

_ It keeps you alive. _

 

“Harry? I think… I think we should talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay! Again, was abroad and working but now I have more free time. Going to work on the next chapter tomorrow and maybe I'll have it up?? Who knows. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter though, I really loved writing it!


	4. be known in its aching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you convince a friend to stay? How do you convince a friend you're friends?

Harry sat, dumbfounded, as he sat across his table from Agent Dale Cooper, who was currently shoveling down his second helping of pancakes. In the two (three?) months since Coop had emerged from the lodge, he’d have to be coerced into eating. Now it seemed like the agent was trying to compensate for all that he hadn’t been eating as heartily as normal, tearing into the food like a teenager on the verge of a rather impressive growth spurt. 

 

He was there. Dale Cooper was in his house, eating pancakes. That empty shell that had been wearing his clothes and sleeping in his bed was whole again. He was  _ real _ . He was  _ here _ .

 

Cooper sighed through one last mouthful and pushed his plate away, seemingly content. “Harry, those were, excuse me, damn fine,” he smiled, looking across the table to his friend who only managed a slight smile before settling back into his shellshock. That echo of his previous self, of the Coop who was, was just as comforting as it was unsettling. It was like seeing a photo of a loved one who died. That eerie sense of familiarity, yet a reminder of memories you couldn’t recreate settled like a knot in the sheriff’s empty stomach. Unlike Coop, Harry had only managed to stomach a cup of coffee this morning. 

 

Cooper’s smile faded slightly in the silence, his facade of normalcy not yet cracked, and began collecting his dishes. “Harry, I-I’m sorry for any inconveniences I may have caused you here. I don’t know how to repay you. Sleeping in your bed, demanding your care, I’m sure I racked up quite a food bill as well, I-”

“Coop-”

He stood, moving towards the sink, and Harry followed. “No, Harry, today will be dedicated to getting back on my feet, I couldn’t possibly impose any longer.”

“Coop, I don’t know if that’s the best idea, I mean-”

The water began to run. The dishes clacked. “Harry. It’s no trouble. I’m sure I can get a room at the Great Northern again, I just can’t keep asking so much of-”

“Agent Cooper.”

That stopped Coop in his tracks. His hand stilled at his elbow, only one sleeve of his shirt rolled up. Cooper stared pointedly at the running water as it began to give off steam, but the agent made no move to do anything more.

 

Harry reached over and turned the water off. “Coop?” The man continued to stare forward, a glassy look to his eyes. Harry exhaled and slowly, gently, he moved a hand to the hand caught in the middle of rolling up his flannel sleeve. Coop gave a small flinch and finally broke his empty gaze, looking down at his dishes, but he made no move to separate himself from Harry. 

“I remember, Harry.”

Harry furrowed his brow. “The lodge? You remember the lodge?”

Cooper gave a frustrated exhale and finally pulled away. Harry watched as he moved back towards the table, reaching for Harry’s mug before dropping his hand. “I remember you. I remember… everything you did for me. Harry, you,” he blew out and looked away, out the window to the gentle morning snowfall. “You cared for me. I had nothing. I didn’t even have myself, I was a spectator to my own life and you cared for everything about me, what little there was left. You gave me clothes, and food, and a place to sleep. You kept me up to date, you gave me things to do, you spoke to me like a  _ person _ when there was no person here and you know what I did? I hurt you.” Cooper’s voice had been following a steady crescendo throughout his account, and the silence that filled the house was stifling. 

 

Cooper inhaled sharply, and began again, back at his normal volume and with half of his enthusiasm. “I hurt you. I can’t-I can’t hurt you anymore. I’m not leaving for good, I swear. I don’t think that’s an option anymore,” he finally turned and gave a wavering smile to Harry, who was still standing dumbly at the sink. “I just can’t take that risk anymore. It kills me to hurt you. Who am I to take your kindness and return it with hostility? With pain? Who am I to ask that of you?”

“I’m your friend.”

Harry’s voice finally broke through the space and was met with a bitter laugh from Cooper. “Friends. Harry, I strangled you. I tried to hurt you, physically, time and time again, and I can’t imagine what my state did to you emotionally or mentally, What kind of a friend does that sound like?”

“I never said anything about you being my friend.”

Cooper looked up quickly, shocked. Harry continued. “You’ve done all those things, it’s true. But I’m still your friend. When my friends are in need I don’t just leave them behind, and I know for a fact neither do you,” he moved to the table. “I don’t want you to have to recover by yourself, Coop, because you’re not by yourself. The entirety of Twin Peaks is behind you. The fact that you ended up sleeping in my bed was just because I’m stubborn and refused to let you out of my sight the minute you got out of that place. I’m not letting you out of my sight now.”

Coop still refused to look up. “Harry. What I did to you-”

“Wasn’t you. Like you said, you just spectated. Whatever happened couldn’t have been nearly as painful as what happened to you in the Lodge. To be fair, I don’t know what you’ve gone through. I don’t know what happened. And you never have to tell me. None of it. You owe me no explanation. You owe me nothing, Coop. Not a thing.”

The agent shook his head. “I can’t just stay here and be your responsibility. I can’t just be your problem.”

Harry laid his hand over the mug, over Cooper’s shaking hand. “Then maybe you can stay as a friend.”

 

Cooper looked up at Harry and gave a shaky breath. Harry could see the tears in his eyes, but let them be, and he held his breath, waiting.. After a moment, Cooper gave a nod and smiled. “Friends.”

Harry nodded back. “Friends.” An affirmation. A statement. A reminder.  _ Friends. Just friends. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOY howdy I'm so sorry this took so long, life has been HECTIC and I've also just been in a block lately, but I'm going to try to be better with updates! I know how things are gonna pan out later on so hopefully I won't be as stuck with this. I hope you like it!  
> (also lmk if you catch the very, immensely subtle X-Files reference lmao)


	5. be still, my indelible friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooper stays. Others go. And Harry is ever-present.

“How is he, Doc?”  
Doctor Hayward looked up and smiled as he looped his stethoscope around his neck. “All his vitals are great, but that’s to be expected. You took great care of him these past few months, Harry.”  
Harry returned the smile and gave a small sigh. “What about mentally? Is he… is he back to being Coop?”  
At that, Doc Hayward’s smile slipped a bit. “Well, that one’s hard to say. For one, I’m really just a general physician. I’m not trained to be a psychiatrist or anything.”  
“Ah, to be fair, I doubt our current town psychiatrist isn’t either.”  
Hayward and Harry both chuckled. “Very true. And we don’t want to send him to that quack Jacoby. But even if we called in the most highly trained psychologists available, the fact of the matter is that absolutely nobody is going to know or understand what he went through there.” His voice had dropped to a whisper at this point, very aware of the man behind the closed bedroom door. “We can keep an eye out for red flags and the like, but in this case I’d say you, me, and Hawk are the best points of help for him. What this man has gone through… what he’s going through… you don’t learn about that in medical school.”  
The sheriff pressed his lips together and nodded. “Yeah I-I know. I convinced him to stay here with me so I could keep an eye on him. He tried to run off to the Great Northern again but I didn’t think that was the best idea.”   
Plus you’re not quite ready to let him go, right Harry? The thought ran through his mind, quick as a cat, before smiling at the doctor. “I’ll take care of him, best I can. He deserves that much.”  
Doc Hayward smiled back at him. “Just keep taking care of him like you always have. And start taking him out in little doses. Maybe the station first, build it up from there. He’ll need to re-work his way back into the real world, doesn’t seem like the best idea to just toss him into the deep end.”  
Both men turned at the sound of the bedroom door opening. Coop made his way out as he buttoned the last few buttons on his flannel. “Doc? Thank you so much for this housecall. You’re a good man.” Cooper abandoned the last three buttons to extend his hand to Hayward, who took it and shook it firmly.   
“Great to see you up and about, Agent Cooper. You take it easy now. Let our good sheriff take care of you.”  
Coop smiled and nodded. With that, Hayward shook Harry’s hand before letting himself out, and Harry turned to Cooper. “Coffee?”  
“Harry? You’ve just read my mind.”  
Harry smiled and turned towards the kitchen, moving with ease through the practiced art of making coffee. Harry felt Cooper’s eyes on him as he followed him into the little kitchen and leaned against a counter. The two sat in relative silence for a moment, only broken at times by the sounds of the coffee making process, before-  
“What happened to Annie?”  
Harry stopped mid-scoop. He had done his best to keep Cooper updated on all that was happening in the world outside of his own brain, but Annie… Harry always worried Annie would send him further down that rabbit hole.  
“Harry?”  
He poured the scoop. “She made it out. We found you two right outside of the entrance, side by side. She wasn’t nearly as banged up, but she still spent a few days with Norma getting checkups from Doc Hayward, same as you.”  
“Is she still here?”  
“No, Norma decided to move her to a different to-”  
“No, Harry. Is she still here?”  
Harry exhaled sharply. “No. She’s uh… she’s catatonic. She’s not really responsive, she needed assistive care 24/7. She’s-”  
“Just like me.” Cooper was looking determinedly at the floor.  
A pause.  
“Yeah.”  
The kettle began its scream, signalling the hot water was ready. Harry moved quickly, pulling the kettle off the burner and pouring the hot water into the press. He turned back to see Cooper continuing to button up his shirt, albeit with now shaking hands. Harry set down the cooling kettle and walked carefully over to Cooper. “Coop? Can I give you a hand?”  
Cooper exhaled in frustration. “Sheriff Truman I am more than capable of buttoning up my own shirt, thank you.”  
“I know, Coop. Can I give you a hand?”  
Cooper had already made it through one button, but once the second button slipped one too many times, he finally huffed in frustration and let his hands fall to his sides. Harry slowly moved his hands to the buttons, and without word of protest from the agent, made quick work of the final two. And he spoke.  
“It wasn’t your fault. None of it. If you want someone to blame, blame the Lodge. Blame BOB. Blame anybody but yourself, Cooper. You were doing the right thing. You were trying to make the world a little better at the risk of your own world. You did good, Coop.” Harry looked at the agent in front of him, who maintained his gaze towards the ground, and moved his hands to his arms to hold Cooper firmly.  
“Thank you, Harry,” Cooper was talking in an uncharacteristically low tone, and Harry knew if he looked up his eyes would be glassy.   
Harry moved one hand to his shoulder and squeezed. “Anytime, Coop. Ask for help anytime. I’m here to give it.”  
Cooper nodded and moved to the kitchen table. Harry watched him go before turning back to the coffee. In a selfish way, Harry was glad Cooper was coming back to himself and had trust in Harry's touch. It was just as much of a comfort to the sheriff; a solid, tangible reminder that Coop was here, with him,  _alive._ Harry shook himself out of his musings to press his coffee and turned to the man at the table.

“So, uh, Coop… what do you say about a little outing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What??? An update???? In less than a month???? Incredible. She's thriving.  
> Thank you guys SO MUCH for all of the amazing comments, it literally makes my day knowing y'all like my writing and I hope I continue doing right by these characters for y'all!  
> I think I said this earlier in my notes but I'm def trying to keep these chapters short to be better about updating! I hope y'all are cool with that!  
> Next chapter is absolutely about to be fun family times at the station, it more than likely won't be nearly as quick of an update bc grad school things are catching up BIG but I can't wait to write it!


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